Final Personal Essay

Personal Essay - Final

The day we are born is a special day for all of us.  My birth, unfortunately, had an extra significance because there were complications.  I was breech and although I was delivered by a planned C-section, my head had gone under my mother’s rib cage.  As the doctor struggled to get me out, I was without oxygen and it resulted in a stroke that affected my whole right side, with the greatest damage occurring to my right hand.

As you can imagine, the years that followed have had a lot of ups and downs. You might be surprised to know that I never attended special education classes or a special school.  Instead, my brother and I both went to St. Jean the Baptiste School in Fall River. The teachers and the kids were great and even though I had a hard time academically, I have many wonderful memories of that time in my life.  

 Things started to get tough academically in second grade.  That’s when I started having trouble reading. School became more and more difficult for me.  I often felt stupid and was embarrassed when I was called on to read.   Looking back, I would have to say that there have been many difficult things in my life, but reading was one of the most difficult problems I’ve ever had to deal with.  The worse part about it was that it took so long to find out what was wrong and what to do about it.  You see, because a stroke at birth is so uncommon, no one realized the stroke had also affected my eyesight.  Once the school realized I was having problems with reading, they did give me a series of reading tests designed to break down individual reading skills.  They hoped the tests would pinpoint where the problem was, but all the tests came back normal. 

The first clue to what was really going on came when my mother read an article about adult stroke survivors.  One of their biggest complaints was that they weren’t able to read since their stroke.  After months of searching, we found a doctor in Boston who put me through a series of tests.  These tests showed that the stroke had affected my right eye too and that the damage meant there was an incredible strain to that eye whenever I tried to read.  The doctor explained that our eyes need to work individually in order to come together to form a complete picture when we read.  The stroke had severely damaged that ability and for the first time I finally understood why I often had headaches and felt physically exhausted throughout the school day.

For 18 months I attended vision therapy every week, while trying to keep up with ever more difficult school work.  It really was one of the most difficult times of my life.  Every Friday I was up and in the car by 6:00 a.m.   I usually slept until we got to Boston and the therapy was so draining that I would sleep most of the way back to school. After school my mom would pick me up and we’d head to Hasbro’s Children’s Hospital for physical and occupational therapy.  Much of the weekend would be spent finishing my normal homework and making up additional work that I had missed while at vision therapy. 

It was exhausting but at least I didn’t feel stupid anymore.  I understood that there was a real medical reason for why I couldn’t read.  It was a pretty tough time but the therapy did make a dramatic difference for me.  I can now say that I’m an average reader and it’s a lot less exhausting to read.

Right before graduating in sixth grade, a special reading evaluation showed that I was barely reading at a third grade level.  This was a turning point in my life. My parents had to decide what was more important – a normal school experience or the possibility that I would never really be able to read.  According to my mom, it was one of the toughest decisions they ever had to make for me.  Their decision was to try something really out of their comfort zone - home schooling for junior high.

Looking back, I think it was the right decision, but I certainly wasn’t too happy about it at the time.  My biggest fear was that I would lose my friends.  As it turned out I really didn’t have to worry about it.  I still hung out every weekend with my St. Jean friends and spent part of every school week with kids my age from a local home schooling group.  The best part was that I was learning more and the school work load was much easier to handle.  Most important of all was that by the end of just one year of home schooling, I was retested and I was reading at what was called “a proficient sixth grade level”.

When it came time for high school, it was my turn to make the decision.  Would it be back to a regular high school or continue with home schooling?  After doing some research, I came up with a completely different option – online high school.  I chose Keystone - a nationally certified online school and it was a great choice for me.  It turned out to be the perfect way for me to learn.  With an online school it didn’t matter if it took me longer to read assignments or to complete my online tests.  Plus, I could work as much as I wanted, whenever I wanted to.  Online high school was so successful that I ended up graduating with honors and became a member of the National Honor Society.

Do I ever wish I didn’t have a disability?  Of course I do.  It would be a lie to say anything different.  I think some of the biggest frustrations I have is how much longer it takes to do things that most people don’t even think about.   Another big frustration about having a physical disability is the way people can perceive you.  To walk into a room knowing every eye is on you (judging you before they even know you) is tough. 

The things that have made me the happiest are the many good friends I’ve had throughout my life.  My friends have been able to see past my disability and just see me – Ross.  I also like the fact that people at work and my friends come to me for advice.  Maybe it’s because they know I’ve had my struggles too.  Whatever the reason, it makes me feel good.   I guess that’s part of why I’m working towards my certification in human services.  I feel comfortable talking to people about their problems and I really want to work with kids that have experienced problems growing up too. 

Overall, I take pride in being a problem solver and not letting my disability get me down.  I definitely get frustrated but then I buckle down and figure out a way to accomplish whatever it is I need to do.  It may be in a different way, like driving a car with adaptive equipment, but I’m able to do what I want to do.  So, all in all it’s like the bumper sticker says… Life is good.